I have this friend, who for the sake of anonymity, we’ll call Frank.
Frank is an angel investor. It says so on his social media bios, he is a member of all the angel investing LinkedIn groups, and even has an angel list account.
Frank went so far as getting business cards printed with his name, email address (using his own domain, to make it classy) and Serial Angel Investor as the position title.
Everyone thinks Frank is one of the ‘big players’ club.
So did I, until recently when I managed to weasel the truth out of him over a few too many nasty house reds at some business networking function he dragged me to (don’t ask me about the chain store pizza they handed out at the same function; that ain’t hors d’oeuvres, that’s stinky, oily finger food, not fit for people with suit jackets).
So it turns out that Frank’s current ‘investment’ is paying the monthly WordPress hosting bill for some early stage outfit, all $10 a month of it. Way to go, Frank. That sure as shit is the definition of big time (sarcasm font for comical effect).
In the same slur he informs me of his previous endeavours, the ones which gives him license to use the phrase ‘serial’? He helped set up a fish and chip shop in an industrial area, which he promptly got reimbursed for, over the next 18 months. Oh, and free greasy unnamed-fish and minimum chips once a week.
Now, this isn’t to dissuade anyone from pitching in the cost of a pint at a Perth pub that doesn’t need to have a ‘No Gang Colours’ sign on the door, but really, Frank? You call yourself a Serial Angel Investor?
Maybe we need the Government to regulate the word Angel Investor to those who have risked more than their teenage kids lunch money for a week on an early stage business. I’d go even so far as saying if the grand total of your ‘big cash-out’ is a one grand payback for an interest free loan, then I’d say that isn’t an angel investment; more a slightly-more-money-than-a-big-dinner-with-shitload-of-drinks loaner for a mate.
And Serial? Don’t get me started on that word. We’ve got Serial Entrepreneurs, Serial Thought Leaders, Serial Angel Investors, Serial Founders. Maybe we should swap that out for the same pronunciation?
We could start saying a Cereal Entrepreneur is one who can build a facsimile of their family home out of Weetbix, or a Cereal Thought Leader is one who wakes on a weekend, and prepares an assortment of Corn Flakes and Weeties for their parents, who they no doubt still live with, given the high stakes they’re willing to invest in early stage startups.
Anyway, I digress. Go on, Frank, buy a lotto ticket and call it your foray into managed equity funds.
Hats off to those angel investors who quietly work away at helping finance innovation in our town. You are a vital element of the ecosystem here, and we all appreciate your humble efforts. Just don’t go getting gold leaf business cards with just ‘Serial Angel Investor’ as a position title, for fear I may mock you in a future article.
Oh, and Frank? You’re not big time buddy. Pull in the ego and stop being a dick.
